Modesty Is Not About...

Hi everyone. In the last few posts I have been going over modesty. If you haven’t read those posts, here are the links (post 1, post 2, post 3).

Today I want to offer encouragement after some of the things I have read online concerning modesty. 

Many modesty teachers like to teach that guys are visual beings and that we women need to cover up to keep men from sinning, because the way we dress can lead men to lust, so we women need to cover up, so we will not lead them to in-purity.

There might be some different versions of this statement, but this is the focus that many modesty teachers hold to when teaching modesty.

Before I go further let’s review what modesty is.

Going into 1 Timothy 2:9-10 we read,

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But which becometh women professing godliness with good works.”

Paul teaches us that our outward adorning (hair, clothing, accessories) needs to be of humility. We need to have a humble attitude. Not boastful, not wrapped up with vanity, not showy. We shouldn’t be shouting “hey world look at me”. We shouldn’t dress to try to impress others or to show off to others, but to please God. 

We want others to focus on God, not ourselves.

Modesty is an attitude that should be expressed in not only our clothing, but in our behavior and speech.

This is what modesty is all about.

Modesty is not about managing the thoughts of men.

Let me say it again…

Modesty is not about managing the thoughts of men.

It is wrong to teach that women are responsible for men.

Each of us (men and women) are responsible for our own sins.

We have no right to blame our sin on someone else. Your sin is your responsibility.

Romans 14:12 “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”

So, no matter how a woman is dressed a man has no right to blame her if he stumbles.

In Matthew 5:27 we read “Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart,”.

In this verse, Jesus does not place guilt on the woman but on the man himself.

Men should respect a woman no matter how she is dressed.

Now, am I saying a woman can dress scandalous? No, I am not. But when I heard a guy proclaim that he is a visual being and that seeing a girl in shorts draws his eyes automatically up her legs to fill in the blanks, I was absolutely disgusted.

I grew up wearing shorts (they were above the knees) and I was never, ever disrespected.

And the thing is…

A woman can be fully dressed, and a man can still lust after her.

That is why men need to be taught to respect women.

Women cannot control men’s thoughts and while dressing modestly can indirectly help men, men could still fall into lust.

So, people need to stop teaching that modesty is about women being responsible for men.   

Modesty needs to be taught with the focus on the fact that our bodies belong to God. And that in every aspect of life, we need to honor God.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.”

When it comes to clothing, I cover up my body because God wants me too. Not because of anyone else.

And modesty is not about hiding our bodies figures either.

Many modesty teachings make girls come away with the idea that her body is sinful and that she needs to basically hide the fact that she is a girl.

But guess what?

Our bodies are not dirty. They are not shameful. They are not bad.

They are good.

God created the feminine figure. He made Eve with Breasts, Butt, Curves, Beautiful legs, Lovely hair, etc.

And just like with all His creations, He said the woman was Good.

Genesis 1:31 “And God saw every thing that He had made, and, behold, it was very good.”

And each of us girls and women are fearfully and wonderfully made by God.

Psalms 139:14 “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”

We don’t need to be ashamed of our bodies.

Each of us are beautiful.

Don’t let anyone ever tell you different.

So, when it comes to clothing ignore the criticizers and find the clothes that make you feel beautiful, comfortable, and confident. 
Make your decisions on clothing not based on what some guy might think but based on honoring God.

Proverbs 31:25 “Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.”

I hope that this has been helpful and encouraging.

If you have any questions just let me know down below.

  Thank you for reading :)